HOPE for the HAPLESS

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Gaze Up in Throes of Death

2 Comments

Here is a Hymn (still in the rough) that I have been working on. Let me know what you think.

Feel free to use it if you deem it worthy.

Gaze Up in Throes of Death

Text by Ken Maher ©2014 Based on Numbers 21:4-9; John 3:14-18
To Tune of # 702 (LSB) “My Faith Looks Up to Thee” [Olivet]

1

Gaze up in throes of death, poison seeps, stealing breath,

in dust they lie.

Bitter the words complain, casting on God their shame.

Slaves to their wants remain and for this die.

2

But God looks down in love and sets in bronze above

a shining light.

Gentle is sin reproved thus in faith hearts are moved

so bitter works removed with sin’s dark blight.

3

See also in our sin the devil seeks to win

our grov’ling soul.

Poison inflames the heart distrusting from the start

to play our given part, that servant role.

4

Gaze up with eyes of Faith see there God’s holy face,

thorns crown His head.

In the Lord’s sacrifice all dying may find life

the serpent has his bite and is crushed dead.

5

For God so loved us all He lifted death’s dark pall

cast on this world.

The one who died, now raised, is rightly to be praised

Oh, sinner lift thy gaze to life unfurled!

jesus-snake-cross-coin

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Author: kenmaher

When I'm not working I enjoy Astronomy, Camping, Comic Books, Epic Fantasy Novels, Games (both playing and designing), Hiking, Juggling, Sci-fi, and building strange things out of pvc pipe. I also enjoy being an honorary pre-schooler with my four great children ... much to their mother's dismay.

2 thoughts on “Gaze Up in Throes of Death

  1. Okay, Ken, I’m going to trust you that you won’t be offended if I suggest some emendations. You can reject all of them if you feel your hymn as is reflects your own voice. At least do spell “throws” correctly as “throes.”

    In some of the latter lines of each stanza I think there is some confusion as to whether the phrase agrees with or contrasts against earlier lines– it sounds like hearts should aim at bitter works accompanied by sin’s dark bight, which isn’t likely what you mean. Some of my edits also come from a feeling that your hymn has a Victorian feel, much like hymns by Gerard Manley Hopkins. Perhaps you aimed at this sort of antique atmosphere.

    How is this? I can’t hear the music, and I can only work with the meter you seem to write with:

    Gaze up in pangs of death, poison seeps, waning breath,
    in dust they lie.
    Bitter the words complain, casting on God their shame.
    Slaves to their wants remain and thus they die.

    But God looks down in love and sets in flame above
    a shining light.
    Gently is sin reproved and in faith hearts are moved
    to warm love removed from sin’s dark blight.

    See also in our pain the devil seeks to gain
    our wandering souls.
    Poison inflames the heart, distrusting from the start
    to play our given part, that patient role.

    Gaze up with eyes of Faith, see there God’s holy face,
    thorns crown His head.
    In the Lord’s sacrifice all dying may find life
    the serpent has no bite and is crushed dead.

    For God so loved us all He lifted death’s dark pall
    cast upon this world.
    The one who died now raised, is rightly to be praised
    Oh, sinner lift your gaze to life unfurled!

    Ken :>

  2. Hey Ken,
    Thanks for looking it over! I will at least spell it correctly (and have edited it thusly), but only after I’m a little offended … at myself …

    As for your emendations, it’s hard to be offended when I don’t even know what the word means … something awesome and flattering I’m sure 😉

    I profess I don’t have time to go through all your suggestions in the next day or so, but I will soon because I think I like one of your lines better already on first reading. And if there is confusion in that one section I will have to clear it up one way or another.

    The one line in stana 4 will remain with the serpent (satan) having or taking his bite only to be crushed dead as this is pure Genesis 3:15 prophecy and the one real hope all sinners have under the cross. (Although I’m open to a better way of saying it)

    When I have a few spare minutes this week I will do a side-by-side and curse you for being much smarter than me. I will then edit it and let you know.
    Thanks again Ken1

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